Spending Wednesdays: Reality Checks

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Reality Checks

I'd decided I was going to busy myself with keeping note of all that matters. Then the other day I get the news that a friend is suffering from a possibly life threatening illness. I'm shaken. I hurt for him. I'm hoping for the best for him. He's in process of being diagnosed, no doubt involves endless prodding and poking and testing - to date he has no real answers. That's got to be the scariest part. The body glitching - and no answer as to why.

Dealing with an illness and having no real answers has got to be one of the more frustrating things in life. Too much space for the mind to wander. This friend is a vital, beautiful, sweet husband and father. Why? Why do these things happen - I can't help but ask myself. I liked him from the moment I met him, full of light. Damn it, why him? I'm angry and scared at the same time - he's younger than me. It's selfish, no doubt, to think about myself after hearing about his health predicament; when I heard of his news, I stopped to take stock of me. Is that horrible? Always the question, Why? Why him.

I'm going out for a walk - using the gift of breath and mobility that I take too much for granted. Getting this news about my friend breaks my heart ...he's so vital and so young. I'm forced to look at what really matters. In the scope of it all, wellness, love and care, of self and others, is all that matters. Being able to breathe of my own free will, being able to feel my legs, being able to use my legs, being able to get up ...being able to go outside and feed the birds. Being able to swallow and not be afraid. The body is a magnificent thing, but can be a monster when it has glitches. I take mine too often for granted.

I have good friends that I take for granted - why they haven't abandoned me makes me love them all the more (okay, so it's only five friends, still, they're amazing). I have a family I take for granted and don't spend enough time with. I spend far too much time giving myself to work and this computer. I need to give more time to the things that really matter. There. I didn't need a sheet and half for that.

I'm one to light candles. I will be lighting candles for my friend - my wish and good energy sent his way - for his health, knowing and strength to deal with what he is going through.

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Dichos of the Week, or Month or so...

December 2008:
Como eres, era. Como soy, seras

Literally: As you are, I was. As I am, you shall be.

This dicho calls in the wisdom, experience or age of the speaker of the dicho (similar in their universal truth to proverb), and is best illustrated by a story.

When I was young, stupid and cocky, I challenged or mocked something my mom did (since I was all of 14 and knew everything). She told me "Como eres, era. Como soy, seras." I was often frustrated with her use of dichos because I didn't always understand them, or how they applied to the situation at hand. I remember being puzzled by this one, and asked her to explain it. By way of explanation, she told me this story:

One day, in her her pueblo of La Barca, Jalisco, in the the mid 1930's, she and a childhood friend, a young boy, the school prankster and trouble maker, were running, anxious to get to the Plaza - they were late in getting out of church and they didn't want to miss a thing.

It was Sunday, and as in most pueblo's in Mexico, especially in her day, gathering at the Plaza was the big Sunday thing to do - everyone was there. On their way, cutting through the narrow sidewalks, they came upon an old man, walking slowly on his way somewhere, on the same side of the sidewalk. His pace forced them to slow down. Frustrated and impatient, the young boy began mocking the old man for not moving fast enough, for being old and frail "un obstaculo" with the audacity to keep them from getting to the Plaza.

Instead of getting angry, the old man stopped, calmly turned to the young boy, looked him firmly in the eyes and said "Como eres, era. Como soy seras." Nothing more.

This stopped the boy cold. The sting of the words he'd just flung at the old man had been turned against him. The shame for what he had just done was obvious. He recognized the warning the old man had just given him: careful, you'll be an old man one day - you will be me, behave accordingly. The young boy politely asked the old man's "Permiso" to get around him, which the old man gladly gave. The rest of the walk to the Plaza was quiet. My mom told me that her friend changed that day; he matured.

That experience stayed with my mom forever. She learned the power of words. She could never forget the immediate shift in attitude, both in the old man, and her friend. She told me it was one of the wisest things she ever heard, and it shaped how she went through life.

My mom's story stayed with me, shaped how I view, gave me a different way to understand the law of consequences, natural laws - and it gave me a love of dichos and their many uses.

This dicho is one of my favorites.

I have not been able to find English versions, similar in impact and applications, but here are some contemporary equivilants, or near equivilants - though much less poetic:

Been there, done that; Reap what you sow; I wasn't born yesterday; I've been around the block a few times; Stop and smell the roses; What youth is used to, age remembers.

November 2008:
De medico, musico, poeta, y loco, todos tenemos un poco

Literally: Of doctor, musician, poet and madman, we all have a little.

This dicho or Spanish saying, refers to the healer, poet, musician and madman that lives within each of us. We are all, whether we admit it or not, at any given moment, renaissance men and women.

Or, maybe we're just jacks of all trades, master of none?

Spending Wednesdays

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Reality Checks

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